Stupid Pothead Stories

I was playing in a band that did a lot of weekend traveling it was the mid- 80’s i guess.. we were playing some dive around new brunswick nj it was for some rutgers crowd. Well i was not one to drink before a show, i played drums, and my timing would get really off if i was drunk, so i would smoke. I could keep timing and keep things better high. Well the show was really awsome, and we were hanging with these college dudes and girls, and of course me being me and high, I was up for any kinda fun.. This girl said her and her roomate had this huge loft we could all go party at, that was really close.

We started walking over, and smoking a fatty on the way, i suddenly had the urge to take a shit.. I asked how far it was, cause i needed the bathroom, and one of my band mates was like dude go piss over there in the alley, then someone said, i dare you to go piss on that car over there… I was like dude, i dont have to piss… then one of the girls was like, i have some kleenex, if you go shit on a car, i’ll make it worth your while….

As a single dude at the time, that could only mean good things… and of course all the other people were like you gotta do it now.. I said ummmm sure.. lets spark one more, and i’ll do it.. so everyone let me smoke the whole fuckin fatty myself, and the girls gives me the kleenex, and I go over… about half way thru, with shit hanging on my ass, i get dude that is an undercover cop car.. well little did i know that they were on a steakout… yes this really happened.. i spent the saturday night and sunday in jail, then i had to see the judge on monday morning, and i actually got laughed out of court.. the judge looked at my file, and laughed his ass off, and told me that the time i spent in jail was enough.. of course i also had to wash the car, and with two day old shit, in the same spot it was kinda embarassing..

The good news is apparently there is no law against shitting on a cop car in new jersey.

Peace and smiles