Stupid Pothead Stories

After smoking a nice fat hoochie, what do you do…. Plans can change all the time, but when I am high, everything in the world sounds great.. then I think.. Do I wanna really leave the house… a part of me says, hell yeah, another part is like, well that means getting off my ass.. hmmm what a huge delima… A friend would call and say hey lets go to the Midway… a greasy burger joint that has the best Fries and Gravy in the world, and billy always made the best thick ass shakes.. mmmm shakes.. sorry i went a wandering there for a second… But did i wanna leave… Midway taken out not so good, it needs to be nice hot and fresh on a semi clean table and a great crusty waitress we all loved… Of course then I would have to worry about seeing other people while high.. other friends or people I grew up with I did not care about being seen high, that never bothered me… they could think I was a pot head, but I was making some pretty decent money, and was on the air so the looking down shit i did not care… did i give a shit that my clothes would smell like pot.. nope the Midway smell was, and is always overpowering. I was worried about seeing my parents friends, the midway has generations of families as patrons, and since they are open til whenever, you would always see someone you knew.. guaranteed. Of course I would try the old, dude just come on over… and of course a friend who calls and is not high, would protest the dropping by, and would try to get me to meet them… and of course the dude, i just smoked a fat one…. I would always reply with the hey man, i can get another rolled by the time you get here.. that would work about 50% of the time, where once we both smoked we were cool as fuck for the night… but the other 50% would be the argument that… DUDE, I KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN, WE WILL SMOKE, WALK TO THE STORE BUY SOME MUNCHIES AND NOT DO ANYTHING.. which i have to say was pretty much the plan… again I would win that one 50% of the time.. so out of the other 50% I would say, dude pick me up and I’ll go… now most of the time it was midway… sometimes the Star, which was the other burger joint and was the best by far… or if we were really risky the Garden.. ummm all you can eat chinese, but no and I repeat no buffet table, they would bring the food too you… ummm the Garden.. how evil it was to have that place when high..

Well after heading to a coffee shop, midway, star, or the garden, there was always the decision of what to do after… Never, ever ask a stoned dude what he wants to do, a decision will never ever be made…. cause again everything is cool…. like dumping on a cop car.. climbing some form of building.. breaking into the school.. it did not matter.. and damn if i would always end up running into the girl i was avoiding.. never failed.. 3-4 dates, and I would rather be high than hang out with her… but I would always have to spend some time talking, being nice while thinking…. I wanna be home watching a movie, or breaking out the video game of the time… I love girl, I really do.. but back in those days, come on.. I wanted the one thing, get that, get high, and hang out with the dudes.. most of the time, you can’t constantly get high with a chick you are with.. cause dating a pot head girl is not always the best idea.. we’ll get to that sometime later… ohhh the stories there… Decisions is the topic of today.. what other decisions are there to be made… ohh the decision of what to get at the restaurant de jour.. If it was shitway.. well then you had the burger.. fries and gravy, or homefries.. or rings.. damn.. chocolate or strawberry shake.. damn it.. such tough ones.. if it was the star… no decision had to be made… there was only one choice for me… burger, fries, gravy, and coke.. nothing else could compare at that joint.. but the garden.. ohhhh soo much selection.. 9.95 all you can eat… 11.95 f0r dinner, and 7.95 after 10 pm.. then if you end up heading back to my place.. what too watch… i had soo many video tapes it was horrible.. so that choice was tough… unless it was the times after dazed and confuzed was released.. then well that was it 25% of the time.. classic high movie.. which is another subject we will get into at another date… or what tunes to listen too.. if so inclined we might do a good jam session.. but most of the time, it was listening to something… and the moods would be a changing everyday… nothing was off limits.. and then the biggest decision of them all….. should we smoke another one….. ohh if somone had to get up early the next day, there was always one more.. and we would try to get them to have 2 more… sometimes we were good, but others… and if no one had anything to do… it was on sessions all night…. how many.. another decision.. or how fat to make it.. bong, pipe or rolled… too many decions… ahhhhh..

Ok i am done..

Peace and smiles..

How many times in my life have I spent hours and hours searching for weed.. When your regular dude, and secondary supplier is not around, you have to improvise. You never wanna show up at that one smelly lives alone scary friends house to like see if they have some to spare, but it always seems to happen.. and of course you have to make sure you are very diplomatic in your search.. never saying that you visited his smelly place just for the sole purpose of scoring some bud.. then you leave there heart broken.. you decide ok, if i drive downtown and see if anyone is selling on the street.. Of course the hundreds of times you have been down there, you were always offered it when you had a baggie, but not when you are looking for it, there are always cops and no one is around.. SO then you drag your ass back to familiar grounds, maybe head to the park where the other potheads hang that you know, but dont really hang out with..

Ok so after a few hours and having some other people smoke you up, all you wanna do is get home with a couple of joints and hang out with your good friends.. I would always have some great movie I was dying to see and not have to invite a bunch of peeps over to watch it that I did not want there just to smoke some of their weed… but the journey of finding weed is always a story or two in hindsight..

more searching stories on the way

Peace and smiles..

I know people have many different names for it, but with my friends we called it the session hour. You know that time of night when you have partied alot, are kinda burning out, and find everything really, really funny because well you are overtired. well my favorite times have always been the session hours. A few times we always suggested recording our sessions and listening to them at a later date.

Well one of our sessions had a movie idea.. Yes I was a short filmmaker for one day. The story came from listening to music of course.. Based on the song Tweeter and the Monkey man by Bob Dylan. Well I still have the final cut of the movie (ok the first and only cut). So in the recording we all agree’d to make this movie, and well our word while high was our bond i guess..

Ok the premise of this story was pretty shitty, and I have no clue how it kinda came out of the song, but we did have characters named Tweeter and the Monkey man.. Cop and drug dealer was the story. I was the director (still don’t know how I got nominated for it), and co-star as the dirty cop of my partner who was the good guy.

Of course all the sets were at our one friends house, which was a nice suburban home, also a park, donut shop, and our other friends grand marquis which made for a great cop car. We even made a stunt double for when Tweeter gets run over by an old old honda civic. The best part was actually not planned, when me and my partner were to get in his car and leave the donut shop.. (YES WE WERE HIGH THE WHOLE TIME). we both left our drinks on the roof, the car took 3 times to turn over, and we left with the drinks on the roof… it actually looked really good on film and was funny..

well the acting ended up being not too bad, though I was the only one who stayed in Character, and was not caught laughing.. Plus forever on film is me with long ass hair.. well about a year later a friend of mine is taking a class about movies at university, and he submitted that as his film which actually got the best grade and reaction from the students..

Just goes to show sometimes the session hour provides someone with some benifit too their schooling..

More on session hours at a later date..

peace and smiles.

Before I got married, I had a few girlfriends.. Working in radio in smaller towns you were always expected to work a weekend shift.. Well I always usually picked Sunday mornings if possible.. we usually had syndicated shows to run, and I could relax and not think too much.. Well at one station in particular we had an AM/FM combo and the guy from the other station and I would make it a sunday ritual to go out and smoke.

Well of course the days I was extra high is when the girls would want me to go and visit their parents for lunch. well of course I could never tell the GF’s I was really high, cause the getting shit factor would jump up too much for a high boy to handle..

Well most parents always liked me, and for some reason high I always was a lot more charming. I would not talk too much, and was always respectful.. Plus the munchies would kick in and the cooking always seemed soo much better, and I could always have a 2nd helping.. I always would tell myself, just don’t try to talk too much about anything… though I would always get into a sports conversation with the father.. always always, and I am pretty adamant about sports, and if you have ever been high you never really argue your points with much logic..

Even my wife, before we got married, I had many a lunch high at her parents place.. we even made our wedding plans when I was high, which did benifit her more cause well I was not going to argure girly shit.. it always suited my inlaws though they never knew I was high.. I was quiet and polite.. no wonder they think I am a good dude..

One time it was baseball playoff time.. I don’t remember which year it was, but I was sitting with an old GF’s father watching the game.. I am high as a kite at her place trying to watch baseball, which I love, and high makes it much faster.. Well he kept saying that I had the best food for watching a game.. which always makes me laugh, cause I did not know they were coming over, and I stocked up for a huge munchie session.. I thought the GF was going to be away for a few days, but nope, and she brings parents with her.. damn it.. Ohh well after they left, I remember her asking me if I had been high. After the yes, she said she wanted me to smoke before seeing them as long as I did not smell like pot.. which I did, and her parents sure loved me more than she did..

well I guess I am done..

Peace and smiles..

There is one huge difference between being burnt out and hung over. I guess the reason I was more into smoking was being burnt out was a better feeling for me than the 2 hangovers I have had in my life. Being hung over is an awful feeling. Like I said before it has happened to me 2 times in my life. Once was the first time I ever drank. It was just a month or so after my 13th birthday. My parents and their bowling league had a trip down to somewhere in Mexico. Of course time this was at a time when it was much safer, and my older sister was in charge, she would have been 16. Besides her and I were pretty darn savvy, and responsible. Well my sister and some of her friends came over to our house and had a small party, with some teenaged drinking. Now she decided to get her little brother drunk, and pretty darn drunk to kind of keep him away from booze for a while.. Well John, her friend, was in charge of getting little me drunk.. Well at 13 I was a tiny little fucker, well I drank, and drank (rum and cokes). Well i was pretty damn wasted, and of course at the time thought I was having the time of my life. Lots of puking later (only time I ever puked from booze), I finally fell asleep after hours and hours of the spins (which to me is another downfall of lots o drinking). When I woke up I had the killer pasties, and killer head ache, my whole body was just not up to par.. I swore never to over drink again. The 2nd time was after like a 4 day drinking bender, the 5th day was just awful..

Being burnt out is a totally different feeling, which really to me is just about being lazy all over. Not only is your mind just tired of thinking, your body is tired too. I wish I had 100 bucks for everytime I was ever totally burnt out. There have been some times where I had smoked soo much that I did not feel anything after smoking again, and that was usually when I would take a week off or so, or just switch to different weed, which would work.

Well that is it for today..

Peace and smiles.